ANYTHING Can Be A Lifestyle. Only Success Comes with Consistency & Adequate Support

Instructing a Les Mills, CX Worx Class, 2017

I mention in my intro about my blog that I have literally been in a life long battle with weight. And as 2020 comes to a close, my journey is in the process of taking a different turn. I’m actually VLOGGING my journey & will release it when the time is right. While I will hit on a few different highlights in this publishing, one of the most ABSOLUTE IMPORTANT key for successful weight loss for those who have challenges in addition to being consistent is SUPPORT!!! As I contemplated how I would structure this and what information is necessary, my recent exchange with a few people serve as more than adequate examples of the type of support I need and do NOT need. So, let’s dive in, shall we?

Over the past few years, I have really been wanting to lead a more plant based life style in whatever way that happens to take place. I have my share of reasons & one of them that is most easy to explain & disclose & the most important to ME, is for spiritual purposes. I have had the pleasure of exploring different eating “lifestyles” & I will be the first to say something that everyone on earth is more than likely aware of & that is this, if you are not CONSISTENT with ANY EATING LIFESTYLE, YOU WILL NOT BE SUCCESSFUL! I’m sure this is clearly not brand new news, but bears repeating.

Much of my life I have devalued the need for support. This whole 2020, I’ve learned that when within certain journeys in life, the quality of your support, if you are one who knows you need it, can elevate or stifle any progress depending on if the input is geared toward YOUR GOALS. I’ll provide an example shortly, but let me break down why I mention the above statement. For me personally, I have literally lived my life thinking I can do it all and don’t need nobody or help, etc. Then I hit a brick wall with that thinking. I’ve come to learn I need support even when I may refuse or deny it. I don’t know it all & can’t do it all, no matter how good things may look to outsiders. However, typically once I’ve made a decision about a thing, I’m more than likely pretty locked in. The next steps are typically getting from A to B which often times is just as hard as being consistent to be successful. Now let’s talk about weight and support.

I believed the all the negative body image myths regarding larger bodies not being able to do yoga, yet through my journey of becoming a 200 hr yoga teacher & seeing the plethora of beautiful black curvy yogis in the yoga community, provided me with the subtle confidence to embrace this ENTIRE JOURNEY of acceptancing who I am & understanding if I do not like the place I am in, love myself enough to understand it’s ok to change my situation so I can be happy about who I am no matter what that change may look like. I’m a 200 RYT as of February 2020. Chest and heart opener challenge I created at the beginning of Covid

I mentioned to a friend of mine the more specific dynamics of the journey I’m about to embark on. About 6 people in total are aware & 3 of them are on the same journey. One friend I disclosed this hella leap to & the VERY NEXT WORDS from her were, “ THAT’S GREAT! A FRESH START!” I wasn’t questioned. I wasn’t shamed. It wasn’t assumed I didn’t know what I was doing or I didn’t know what I was talking about. From here, I asked her if she could guide me on recipes for plant based regimen as she has knowledge in this area & has 2 children. That’s important because acclimating a whole household to a certain way of eating can be tricky with children. Another friend I mentioned my journey to is also vegetarian & simply wanted me to let her know in whatever way she could assist me, just let her know. I have history with keto and found out I could actually have a plant based keto regimen. I mean, how freaking cool is that?!

Instructing a Les Mills Sprint Class

Let me now provide you with an exchange that did not that sit well with me. I reached out to someone with awesome working knowledge of keto & I mentioned I would love her assistance on implementing a plant based-keto lifestyle. The immediate response was that she would “not advise plant based keto. It’s not necessary. I have learned & educated myself on so much since I last coached you.” In my mind, I was like THAT’S GREAT! But that input wasn’t really necessary for me and a decision I’m set on. I did not receive the response well but I quickly let it go. The next day while exchanging texts, I was told “before you go plant based, be certain you understand why. There is nothing wrong with it but there are all kinds of ‘plant based diets’. ” (SIGHS) I’ve been on this hunt for a while, especially after I learned you can implement a plant based version of keto! And since she is reminding me of all the research she has done, is precisely why I am humbly reaching out to enlist the assistance I need. Being told that I need to understand why I’m doing this or that is not necessary. My response was I have already decided this. Her response, “That’s fine but if you think it’s ‘healthier’, it may not be what you think. There was a time I was gonna go plant based too. I would never do it now with the knowledge I have. But it’s not for everyone. People believe meat is bad & it’s not” Can you see where I am going with this exchange? It’s amazing how someone can begin to tell me more about what’s best for me not having walked 1 single step in my shoes & not considering why I am making the decisions I am making. I never once said meat was bad. In fact, this change will be a gradual process as I intend to still consume seafood & may even hang around being a lacto-ovo. Again, in my mind, my thoughts were, thank you for sharing you were gonna go plant based but decided it wasn’t for you. My reaching out is not about you, though. Everyone has their own choices they feel they have to make & I am making some other difficult but necessary choices for MY LIFE, that I won’t fully disclose until I’m comfortable doing so. We all have very different lifestyles & I am choosing something that I feel I will be able to benefit more from, although it will indeed be more challenging, in addition to unnecessarily explaining part of my decision is spiritual as well. But I shouldn’t have had to even say all that. I simply need support. I didn’t need that back & forth. That’s not how I operate. Instead I got feedback that turned into MY decision being about her. I am reaching out asking for assistance on a decision I have made for ME & the exchange turned into her opinion for HER about HER experience. I am about to make some drastic changes & all I am seeking is support, not someone trying to discourage me from a decision that I already know will be a hill to climb to begin with. I reached out to ask for guidance because I do know she is well versed. However, this exchange is not what I needed and confirmed I can only go so far with info I’m willing to disclose with anyone.

Having food addiction, being judged most of your life for your weight, most of my adulthood battling yo-yo weight gains & losses, feeling like failure because you didn’t succeed at being consistent gets heavy as shit. Literally and figuratively speaking. Being 4’11 does not make my weight loss journey any easier either. The LAST THING I NEED is someone questioning me about a decision I am making that I know will be drastic or assuming my decision isn’t a healthier choice if that’s what I’m thinking. And input like this further confirms that limited information will be disclosed across the board because I simply do not have the energy to defend my decisions regarding my health that I am making when I am simply needing support. For those who may experience trying to determine if you should disclose certain information when you are making certain decisions about your health, if you don’t feel you are strong enough to stand firm in defending decisions that you have to make for YOU, then you may need to be mindful who you enlist for support or share that info with. And that’s not a bad thing. You are simply creating boundaries. Hell, I hid 2 pregnancies until I had my babies. Everyone doesn’t have to know everything. And Sometimes it may just be better to not disclose information about you to prevent bad energy from infiltrating your goings on. And although it may seem to be beneficial to ask assistance with someone who has working knowledge of a thing, there is nothing wrong with you simply putting in the foot work & doing your own research.

I always hear…”Keto is a LIFESTYLE"!” Well, shit yeah it is!! So is being vegan, vegetarian, a gym rat, an activist, a yogi, choosing certain cultural norms, etc… I mean I can go on & on. When it comes to how we eat when trying to lose weight and be healthy, NO LIFESTYLE will be successful if you aren’t consistent. And I am now a firm believer in another big part in being successful, and that is having a good support system. Again, it’s not easy to come to terms with being a food addict. Some people are better able to deal with their battles than others. I came to learn I actually need more assistance & I am ok with that. I am part of 2 support groups and no they are not on social media. Although I am active in certain groups on fb that provide certain types of support, I am part of support groups out of Walter Reed and Ft. Meade. I have a nutritionist & a behavioral therapist to address certain concerns regarding my dietary habits (there’s more to this-but this part is actually part of the VLOGGING taking place). I will also be seeking guidance from BlackKetoGirl on IG as she offers vegan and pescetarian keto coaching. I’ve come to the conclusion I need an outside, 3rd party, as part of my support. And as I mentioned in the beginning, I have enlisted some folks who know the fuller scope of my journey to date. Again, this thing is hard for me, mentally, physically, emotionally. I don’t need my decisions knocked down as if I don’t know what I am doing or that I’m having false assumptions made about my decisions. All I need is support. I think from here on out, I’ll have to do the footwork, which is to be done anyway. It would’ve been nice to not have the pushback. I don’t want to feel I am being coerced out of a decision I have already come to. And you know what, if for whatever reason, things don’t work out as I had planned regarding a more plant based regimen, I can say I gave it an honest go. First thing’s first…SECURE SOLID SUPPORT.

Literally, this is just a reminder that I’m well aware of what hard work looks like, both from food and exercise perspective.-2017

My Sis Dia, who came out to support me as I taught my Sprint class!

My last note is that as I begin this unexpected journey regarding my health, I’ve actually come across people I personally know who are literally on the same path. Those folks are included in those who know my current specific journey as I am actually seeking their guidance. Everyone has their own lives to live & their own choices to make. What works for some may not be for you and just because something didn’t work out for someone whom you may know doesn’t mean it can’t work out for you. It’s ok to seek assistance from people who may have information that could be advantageous, however, if you begin to feel like the support you are seeking is not about decisions you’ve made for YOU, or their assistance to you is only contingent on the basis of you following what they think is best for you rather than what your specific goals you’ve set for you, then you have to be prepared to do the footwork on seeking adequate support that will keep you accountable and successful & that may not look like what you think it should. And often times people who know you personally may not be the best support for you as they may be for others. And that’s ok too. When it comes to the struggle & feeling of failure of being obese and constantly relapsing, at some point you have to decide you are accountable for every single choice you make and that includes whom you choose to allow to influence your journey. You have to decide not to allow people to shame decisions you make, or minimize your knowledge on the decisions you’ve made, especially if you do happen to have a pretty solid general working knowledge of what you know you need to eat, not eat and what you know about exercising, etc. Don’t let anyone minimize what you already know. I’m no stranger to hard work in the gym & boot camps and the like. That’s not where I have problems. Working out is in fact the easier part to becoming and staying in some decent type of shape. It’s the eating I have problems with. I mean, there is nothing more disheartening, for me at least, than being an obese fitness instructor! And I’ve decided I’m sick and tire of being sick and tired & now am on a path I should’ve taken long ago. The butterfly effect of my current journey is my coming into contact with a fellow spin instructor who revived a journey I was on in 2019. Also, my being brutally honest with my own-self with my food addiction & understanding that the support I may want may not be the support I need & understanding that’s ok. This caterpillar metamorphosis into the butterfly is one hell of a journey! There’s beauty in evolution of the butterfly. So here’s to my struggle. Here’s to my journey. Here’s to a better life style. Here’s to longevity. Here’s to my success!

My Life’s Motto- #EVOLUTIONALWAYS

I’m literally a whole damn instructor out here in these streets! (A fitness Instructor of 3 Les Mills Formats to be exact). Alot can happen in 3 years-2 bouts of depression, a whole nother baby (I now have 3 kids) and a pandemic! July 2021, as long as this pandemic is under control, I’ll be teaching back in the saddle! It is when I’m on the bike or mat that I feel the most alive. I always feel I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.